What is an asset to you?
We often think of assets as a material object, a resource of economic value, be it cash, property, a skillset, or intellectual capability that can be harnessed for more gain.
I could say it was my university degree which gave me a stepping stone into decent work employment, or my first home, a house which was purchased at a lower cost back then and has since doubled in value today.
But I also think of an asset can be a person.
And by far the most valuable asset I have received in the last two decades of my life is my husband.
Without whom I do not think I may be the person I am today, and to whom I need to thank for my personal growth.
And fortunately, he relays the same message back to me as well. I guess we had helped each other become better through our years of partnership.
We had met in university and had our share of ups and downs during our relationship, but we made it through thanks to our solid connection, though we were quite different in our personalities. Being together felt easy, and it was like being with my best friend who was also my partner.
But when I am with him, I felt safe , I had more stability, and a feeling that someone has my back. I loved that extra security he brought to my life, and yes, I know some people advise that you need to be stable by yourself before you look for love, but for me this was not the way it happened.
My grades improved after we were together, and so did my confidence and then my determination to do better. In fact we told each other that our relationship should push both of us to grow individually, and it did.
It fit, too smoothly, and over the years we were together, it further solidified our commitment even more. We had no doubts about marriage, but his proposal still took me by surprise when it happened.
We married when I was 25, and he was 26.
Of course, we had our friction and quarrels, after marriage and even more after children, but we worked through them and will continue to do so.
I still feel the same sense of security, safety, and trust when I am with him. We are equal partners in our marriage, be it finances, decision making and in matters related to the kids and our jobs. We counsel, we discuss, and we make decisions together.
We walk side by side, and it doesn’t make me feel any less of being with him.
And that is something coming from a girl who used to suffer from many insecurities, body dysmorphia, and used to look for approval from others, and having it linked it to my self-esteem, being not confident in myself in my earlier years.
Till today, we value each other’s opinions and make joint decisions about our finances, our children, and our household.
So what to take away from my words?
Who you choose as a life partner matters a lot, and its impact on you and your future children will last a lifetime.
Take the time to get to know your partner while you are dating, and assess the way both of you handle disagreements and whether you share similar values, be it at present and the hypothetical future decisions. Career, city to live in, family, children, and money matters. And if hr or she makes you feel at ease when they are around you.
Make no mistake, this decision matters and should not be rushed.
Hope this gives some insight to those of you who are currently dating and are in relationships.