This thought ran through my head as I was having a conversation with a friend.
She was in her late forties, and she was sharing to me that she hadn’t felt the need to wear makeup and was usually quite confident in herself.
Then our discussion flowed to the topic of plastic surgery, and how common it was now.
We recounted those we knew who had gone under the knife and had tweaked their faces.
Most of them had the procedures done in their early twenties.
And they didn’t have jobs in media, television, or modeling, where an attractive and youthful appearance was usually needed to boost their careers.
It seemed that they were only able to fully accept how they looked with the better physical features they paid for.
I am not questioning whether they should or should not have done it, the choice is theirs and they are empowered to make it for themselves.
My question was, does self-acceptance come with age?
And if so, for those who had permanently changed their appearances in their twenties, do they, or will they, regret it over time as they age?
Because our mind matures as we age and our values in life may change after we have gained more experiences.
Be it having children, delving deep into any particular work ambition, gaining empathy through events in life, having healthy relationships with those who accept us as we are, or having a heart for social causes and shifting our priorities.
It may even come after generally out-growing the party scene and the drama in our early twenties?
We learn to be more secure in our bodies, appreciate the details of our faces, and probably learn to value other things more than the wrinkles on our faces or how sharp our noses look in photos.
Because I had experienced this shift for myself in the last 5 years.
And this was quite an event for me as I too used to wish for a better face, and had struggled with body dysmorphia since my teenage years. Growing up I was highly insecure and dissatisfied with my face, partly due to media and partly due to peer pressure.
But this self-acceptance of my appearance started after I had my third child, another daughter, and then it peaked just after my mid-thirties.
It was partly due to the fact that as I aged, I gradually cared less about what others thought of how I looked. I stopped finding validation for myself from others as my attention shifted more to other things in life and my kids.
And I had long ago denied the thought of plastic surgery for myself, despite my insecurities, the main reason being that I wanted my daughters to love and accept themselves the way they are, and to place value on who they were and not to overly emphasize their looks.
Those are my thoughts on this subject, and a penny for yours too, especially if you have had work done before.
And if we know this maturing of our ideals and perspectives in life comes with age, maybe we should hold off going under the knife until we are older and hopefully wiser.