No, this is not going to be a story about horror. I personally can’t take horror.
It’s about people.
Here’s a theory of mine.
We are all a little eccentric in our own way.
And most of us mask it well to fit into society.
But when we cross the “threshold” of obvious psychological instability that our eccentricities start to show up.
So one question is, how do we actually know if someone we met is ‘reasonably sane’ or not?
In some cases, it can be observed almost immediately, during early interactions with said persons. But in other scenarios, it will only show up over time as we spend more time with each other.
One sure way to find out about each other’s eccentricity levels is when we live with them. This happens especially when we are in college and start to have roommates, or in the early years of working where pooling money to afford a place with others is needed.
Sharing common spaces like the kitchen, and the bathrooms, and even observing one’s private life to an extent.
It’s one thing to see someone at work and interact with them during work hours, but it is completely different when we see them off work and at home.
For example, I’ve seen people who were extremely jovial and giving at work, and when at home they were cold to their own family members.
Some may even be hiding depression or hurts that they have clung on to for years.
Here’s another thing.
In my experience, unfortunately, the older I have gotten, I have also learned to have less trust in some people.
It’s due to my personal experiences, even within my own family, with extended families, and even with old friends.
Some personality traits are just harder to hide over time.
It becomes more serious when it starts to hit near to home and people within your circle.
I cannot comprehend the reasons they do the things they do.
Worst case scenario, their actions have hurt me and my own family.
In the best-case scenario, they have no or minimal impact, and I can move them over to the low-risk category of people. They and their impact can be managed.
So what’s the lesson here?
Let me list out 3 key takeaways.
1. My internal radar will have to reconfigure to get a better read on others.
And up my ‘crazy’ senses alert.
Because although I myself am considered quite open to others, I myself too have to mask up when needed. Covering up my feelings and cracks. I expect others to do the same too.
I can understand minor eccentricities, but heck, beyond that it’s a load of personal topics that I may not be qualified to read through and decipher.
I might have to just place an invisible “A stay away unless you really care” sign on them for now.
2. Don’t be naive with others
I no longer buy into courtesy smiles, nice words, and greetings.
These are ‘socially’ accepted actions and are sometimes used as a way to get others to warm up to you for your own agenda.
Yes, they can have their own agenda. Sometimes, the outcome is we get hurt by hidden motivations. Sigh, what a chore.
3. Look inwards and study yourself
As much as I talk about others, some self-check is always needed before we point the finger at others.
For example, I can ask myself if I am the irrational, selfish, and eccentric one in this relationship.
Am Is my reaction too dramatic in this situation?
Because I know that even I myself am flawed.
Then we start to question ourselves if we are the odd ones or if they are.
Be what I want to see in others, right?
Love is a word that is easier said than actually practiced.
So that’s a challenge for me.
I search more for genuineness in people, and it’s not always easy to get.
Open, honest conversations are some of the things I yearn to have. But even for me, this takes some effort.
Maybe that’s a reason why I kinda like awkwardness in others, they at least were showing some of their real thoughts and actions.
One thing that is better now than before when I was an emotionally fragile girl in my early twenties, is that I can control better how I feel towards hurts from others and I can choose to move on.
That’s one benefit of getting older.