The view was beautiful, as I gaze over the city from the 41st floor of a restaurant, and at the sunset over the sea. In the distance, flashes of lightning were illuminating the heavy cotton candy clouds, and it was quite a sight to see. I loved it.
My only gripe with this whole atmosphere was the music of choice was a tad too loud and upbeat. It was Senorita by Cabello and Mendes. I just couldn’t relate to it, especially at the volume it was being played in.
My thoughts were interrupted when my husband asked me what my birthday wish this year was.
I thought about it for a while, and I couldn’t think of a good one.
It then struck me, that I was content, at least, pretty close to being content.
Sure, I had a few wants.
I would want to be thinner, maybe down by 10 pounds or so, and finally, lose the mummy tummy. There was no escaping the mummy pooch after my third pregnancy. I’m just saying, a hot body is still pretty alluring, no?
Would be nice too if I were an inch taller, my 157cm height is pretty petite. Maybe being taller would mean I appear less chubby and be able to wear those jeans pants without folding them at the bottom, and avoid getting them wet in, public restrooms. What a perk.
To achieve financial freedom, and finally be able to have more options, even the option to work or not. The mental aspect that work is a choice is pretty liberating itself, even if I choose to continue working, which I would still choose to when that time comes.
Also, a part of me wanted a fourth child, you know, just because I had my rounds with my three kids and I think we had the capacity to care for another.
But overall, even if the above were not met, I would be, okay.
I’m not saying my life is rosy, I have my dissatisfactions and grief, fears and worries, but not more than my ‘cup’ could handle. At least, not at the moment.
Not to mention, there was so much more I wanted to achieve, for myself personally, my kids, and beyond my circle of influence.
Maybe my only wish was for the safety and health of my family, my loved ones, and for a secure future for them.
But I did not have an all-consuming wish or heavy burden that I needed to be lifted.
I had love, faith, and hope.
And probably, at the very least, this was something to show for.
That I may possibly, be content enough, at this very moment.
I did not blow out my candle, the strong winds on the 41st floor did that for me.
And so be it anyway, as I did not have an important birthday wish.
I prayed instead for the above, and had my chocolate lava cake and vanilla ice cream, till my tummy complained that I was stretching it beyond its limits. This was after my mains and crab chowder you see.
I walked out of the restaurant, slightly tipsy, but mostly grateful.
Happy mid-thirties to myself.