I am drawn to those who are broken and have had past sufferings.
I’ve known this about myself ever since I left home for university, while being on my own for the first time, and learning about myself along the way in those years.
I found interest in certain people, specifically those who had hurt, loneliness, insecurity, fears, or frustrations in their life. We can learn from listening to those who have stories to share about their wounds.
Their scars are proof of past wounds, now mended or are still on the mend.
On the other hand, I couldn’t fully relate to those who are outright happy and optimistic, full of positivity and pep. Maybe I think their views are too unrealistic, maybe I can’t get past their outer shell, or maybe I am just jaded at this point, having been more acquainted with the world.
I take a second look at those who appear to have another layer beneath their exterior, you may notice it if you intentionally lookout for it. Loud or quiet, brash or gentle, it tends to show eventually, either in their speech or in the way they react to situations.
I am curious about who they are and what are their thoughts. What were their backgrounds and history that lead them to be who they are now?
I find them interesting, their personalities, their point of view, and how they cope with their less-than-ideal experiences in life.
Maybe I like onions, as they have many layers, as we like to say.
Those many layers make for good conversation, doesn’t it? After going through their first layer, the second layer, and third layer, what will you find?
Something good, or maybe not.
Sometimes it’s scary to hear what they had gone through, and it makes you wonder about your own priorities in life.
And albeit their anti-positivity or their somber and realistic outlook on life, I find that they can be funny, witty, empathetic even, wiser due to their experiences, with stories to share.
It could be that I was looking for someone who has similarities to me, struggling with the realities of the world, understanding it, and coping while still being functional in it.
Don’t get me wrong, I am not a depressed person, but I have my share of sadness, joy, frustrations, and some personal issues that I struggle with.
It was one of the reasons why I was drawn to my husband initially.
Neither of us had a rosy view of things, and we both had our past baggage on our backs to share. I think maybe we were trying to fix each other, and are still trying to even till now.
Our brokenness may be temporal, but the effects are lasting.
They serve as lessons learned, and a bridge to be able to relate to others.
How about you? Do you find melancholic people interesting, or a turn-off?