This is about the power of not requiring other people’s approval to affirm your self-worth.
It has taken a long time for me to get to where I am now, to be comfortable and sure enough of myself enough to no longer require others’ affirmation to convince myself of my own worth.
To be able to outright say I do not agree or ‘No’ to someone, and to be confident enough in my decisions and my views.
The feeling is rather freeing, and it is one of the reasons why I am able to write without fear of being judged by others.
You see, we can agree to disagree, but I am no longer afraid of your opinions of me.
To be honest, I am not 100% at that level of confidence in myself yet, but at least, this is where it appears I am heading towards, and I think it’s a good thing.
I used to be demotivated and embarrassed when I made mistakes around others, and then beat myself up about it after, sometimes ruining my day. That was my level of insecurity upon myself.
This has reduced greatly, partly due to the busyness of my days, but mostly due to the fact that at this point in my life I have come to understand how menial these things are. At most someone may think lesser of your abilities, and that is fine for me. Regardless, we have got to move on ahead and continue growing instead of dwelling on these thoughts.
And if you end up not liking me, or start ignoring me for whatever reason, that is fine as well as we have our own paths to take care of, and mine is already full with life and other things that matter more than our potential friendship, or your opinions of me.
This also affected my self-esteem on my own physical appearance. I am coming to terms with the opinion that it should not matter whether someone thinks of you as physically attractive or not. I am me, and I will work with that.
This is major for me as I grew up being insecure about my looks and had at some point suffered some degree of body dysmorphia in my teenage years. Thankfully, that too has resolved over the years as I grew older.
Some caution before we continue, take note to check in on these few points before arriving at this conclusion for yourself.
Make sure you are checking your pride before you become too sure of yourself in every situation.
Arrogance is an unattractive trait on anyone.
I make it a point to check myself before I disagree with someone’s opinion. Maybe I am the one who’s wrong, and how it may be so?
It is worse to be prideful and arrogant as it puts you in a bubble of your own thoughts, a world where growth is limited as you have made up your mind that only your ideas are right, and others are not.
This is dangerous as you may need to check yourself on why you are afraid of being wrong?
One of the best things you can do for yourself is to acknowledge your own weaknesses and assess yourself periodically, and see if any growth has been made there?
In every debate with another party, it is better to first listen, understand their viewpoints and then decide if there is any truth in it. Put yourself in their shoes and check if there is any validity in their opinions?
If no, voice out your disagreement objectively and amicably, if possible. There are times when the push is needed, but not always as the first choice.
Emotions are put aside and your thought process is now of utmost value to you to bring you through difficult situations, complicated topics, and the grey areas of life.
And if you are wrong, admit you are wrong.
Again, prioritize the growth in these situations.
The most likable people are those who are humble enough to question themselves in every situation and openly admit their mistakes, even when they are well-respected or a person of high regard.
I hope this short post helps give some perspective on how you can be happier and more comfortable with yourself. Let me know what your own journey of self-growth has been like.