The simple joys of having an ‘ordinary’ life in the current times.
I recently began to appreciate the aspects of my life that some may consider boring.
I’m not too sure what triggered the change in me, but it had occurred in the last few months. I suspect that it had to do with experiencing some personal losses and after going through a stressful period at work. I am on the other side now, mostly, though the healing journey continues.
To be clear, ordinary may not necessarily mean dull, but it is generally considered less exciting than what others who may for example stay abroad in another country, travel for work, or are out most night doing I don’t know, dance or yoga classes, badminton matches, hangouts at the beach and at night pubs.
For some background, I’m a married woman with three kids under the age of 10. I work a full-time job, and I put a lot into it. I am a homeowner, and I also serve in my local church. My days tend to be full, and we have a solid routine from Mondays to Fridays.
Weekends, we have extra classes for the children, one in the morning and a swim class in the evening. Sundays we have church, and I teach and help out in the Sunday school as well. Then the new week begins again.
A few years back I would get restless, dissatisfied somewhat with the grind and the routine life we had.
I love my kids and my husband, but I think I may have been borderline bored. I would make plans for our family to go out on weekend nights, even though we lived in the suburbs, maybe to a new restaurant far out in town or to the shopping malls, and holidays in various different towns. I would get Sunday night blues and would not prefer home-cooked meals.
I wanted to go out.
My loving husband usually agreed to my request and drove our family out and around.
But as of around 3 months ago at the start of the year, I began to appreciate spending time at home more. I begin to feel the cost of time and money spent when going out, more so now than I used to.
Our commitments and schedules on the weekdays and weekends remain, but in between, I liked being at home instead of going out.
I would be with the kids, teaching them and helping with their academics, reading to my 5yo daughter, who is starting to self-read, or playing computer games with the family. I valued home-cooked food for the lower cost and higher nutritional content, and I felt purpose when I served the family by doing housework, preparing the kids’ school items for the coming week, and even cooking and organizing home spaces.
When the kids are in bed, I watch a movie or a show with my husband, play computer games, learn my Chinese language or write a blog post.
Is it more fun than going out? Maybe not always, but I felt now the value in doing these ‘boring’ activities, which I didn’t back then.
The key is, do I feel fulfilled by these things?
Yes, I do.
Do I yearn to have a night out and experience the other side of life? Going for movies, traveling and sight seeing, maybe even drinks in a night pub with a live band. Maybe a little, but the draw is not that strong anymore.
I am not a homebody yet, but I am happy to stay at home on my off days, unlike how I used to feel in the past. Although I still have restless stints, it is not as strong as it used to be, and I am driven more by purpose than feelings.
Maybe I’m getting older, but I am embracing this change.
We value what we choose to value, and for me, my priorities and values are clear.
It is not an exciting life, but it is a blessed one, one that I may have taken for granted previously.
The title for this blog was inspired by a 2005 film I had watched in the past called The Magic of Extraordinary Days, about a woman who was pregnant out of wedlock in the post-World War II era, and was arranged to be married to a humble local farmer. She initially yearned for freedom, education, and travel, being a learned woman herself. But she eventually learned to love the new family she had, the man she married, and even the farmland and home that she co-managed with her husband. Because she had love where she was, and her perspectives changed.
My situation is not that dramatic, of course, but I am happy with my ‘ordinary’ life, and while I am still restless, it is for social causes and for self-growth, and I can still fit those needs into an ordinary lifestyle.